poetry session

Why Is It


Why is it
That when we are faced with
The sudden disconnection
Disruption and discontinuity
From someone regarded
With such loving esteem
Who is magnificent and significant
That penetrates to the very core of your being
That only then we belatedly see
The gravity of their personality
The uniqueness of their complexity
The rarity of their identity
The deepness of their company
But in hindsight
And cruel unforgiving honesty
I should have seen this coming
So I’ve tried to prepare my mind
Lessen my pride
And soothe my bruised identity
By recognizing the signs
To next time seize moments that
May have otherwise seemed fleeting
Because somehow
Our intentions were
Unintentionally miscommunicated
I should have patiently waited
Chilled out
Subsided and listened to your call
And cool calm cadence
I should have been respondent
To our realities
Instead of feeding into
Unrealistic fantasies
That somehow got to the best of our senses
I should not have questioned
What it meant to be in your presence
While you should not have tested
The worth within my essence
So fair enough, I can’t lie
We share a fair amount of grievance
I should not have
Wasted time
Analyzing and furiously desensitizing
An isolated incidence
Because in the absence of your presence
I’m now forced to ignore predominant traces
Of your prevalence
You ran so frequent though many an instance
And influenced deep sentiments
And longful pretenses
I’m now faced with relegating you as an acquaintance
And have struggled to find subsistence
To an otherwise inherent and intrinsic existence
I should have relished more
In our concrete experience
Because all I’m searching for
Is cognizance towards perseverance


See
I could have gone back to the very beginning
I could find reasons for our randomly pleasant
And one-off chance meeting
And dissect each and every word
Every sentence
Action and reaction
With a fine toothed comb
But I’m slowly learning to not enter into that mode
I should not query on what is already truly gold
But simultaneously
Concerning you
I should not speculate and claim to know
What I do not control
What I should continue to do
Is recognize and own
The part in which I had to play in this role
However
Wishfully thinking…
If ever we come across another moment
Between us both
Know that we should take it for what it truly is
And what it’s here for
We should not deny our need for companionship
And not let it take over
And impede our self-growth
We should take what we instinctually
And intimately know
About us and each other
And raise it
Appreciate it
Watch it
Sit upon that throne
So that we won’t ever forget
How dangerously close
We were to losing it
Because unfortunately
Not many people come across
Moments like those
The rare chance to grasp it
Atone for it and transpose
Ironically
I yearn for it
I aspire to capture it
If ever that moment arose
But for the time being
Naturally
I at least have the chance to express it
Through my therapeutic
And poetic prose
It’s my only answer and comfort
To the question originally posed
Why is it




-j.sanjuan






-Submission for Open Link Night, DVerse Poets Pub.  Link, Enjoy, Share!