Tuesday, March 29, 2011

poetry session

My blog turns 1 today!!! Well, actually it was a few days ago, but, what's a few days?
To celebrate, here is one of my older poems that a wrote a few years ago.  Short but sweet...enjoy. :)






At My Reach




I keep you close
Enough for me to
Reach for you when
I need to
Feel you
Want you
Be with you
Yet
Far away
Enough for me
To just let me be
I push you away when
I feel you
Construe
Misuse
Abuse




I get to know you more
And what you’re about
But still I’m feeling doubts
So anxiously
I keep you at arm’s length
And I reveal just enough of my heart
Simultaneously
I protect myself from hurt
That my come my way
But see


With all this mystery
My arms are feeling weary.




-jsanjuan
 

Monday, March 21, 2011

poetics

Lately, I've been coming across some quotes that really describe how I view my world of poetry.  Enjoy!




"Like a pianist runs her fingers over the keys, I'll search my mind for what to say. Now, the poem may want you to write it. And then sometimes you see a situation and think, "I'd like to write about that." Those are two different ways of being approached by a poem, or approaching a poem."
-Dr. Maya Angelou






“Poetry can startle you, awaken you, make you fall in love, take your breath away. When those words sink in, you'll never look at your life or your journey the same way again.”
-Maria Shriver




"I would say that. But you see, there's a philosophical statement that says some people are born great. Others achieve it. And some have it thrust upon them. That may be so with poetry, and it may be that you have all three."
-Dr. Maya Angelou on being asked if poets are called to fill a spiritual role.






"Poetry is serious, playful, all-encompassing, specific, divine, incomprehensible, profane—and great for getting phone numbers."
-Wynton Marsalis




"The question "What is the role of poetry" is like asking, "What is the role of eating?"
-Margaret Atwood




"Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotion know what it means to want to escape from these."
-Emily Dickinson




"Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen."
-Leonardo DaVinci




"Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."
-Robert Frost




"I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled [poets] to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean."
-Socrates




"Judge not my passion, by my want of skill,
Many love well, though they express it ill."
-Anne Finch




"Poetry is not a profession, it is a destiny."
-Mikail Dudan




Happy Monday all!!!




-all quotes referenced from thinkexist.com

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is the first day of Spring, which also marks the birthday of my wonderful, beautiful, graceful, loving mom!  Today she turns 71 years young! 

(as you can see, not enough candles...)

(...but we improvised)




She is and always will be a source of inspiration and strength for my family and I.

(myself, mom and sister)

If ever there was a time in my life where I needed to feel unconditional love, I would find it in her.  Thank you for being there for me and teaching me so many life lessons through your constant and ever present faith, strength and love.  One day is never enough time to celebrate you!


Love you!!!!




Saturday, March 19, 2011

Mistaken Identity

I think that everyone at some point in their life experiences a case of mistaken identity.  I myself have had a couple.  My two sons always get mistaken for being twins, even though they were born about a year and a half apart. They get it all the time.  And by all the time, I mean, ALL THE TIME.  Anywhere we go, if they're with me running errands, at school, even at family parties (my own damn cousins mistake one for the other) it's almost expected.  In fact, at every family party, it's almost become a running inside joke!


Well, something happened to me a while back that was quite unexpected.
I took my eldest son, Isaiah, 11, to get a haircut recently.  We always go to this place in the mall where the ladies that work there know my two boys very well since we've been going there since they were 5.  Needless to say, it's always my husband that takes them to get a haircut. So for them to see me walk in with my son must have been unfamiliar to them.


But anyways, the stylist takes my son in, sits him down in the barber seat, all while I'm standing a little bit to the side watching her do her thing.  So she asks the typical questions to me, what would you like done? How short? What number? etc.....Then she says, "Oh, you mean like Justin Bieber?" Isaiah and I look at each other, exchange looks of disbelief and say to the lady, "Uh, no, more like Bruce Lee.", and we both smile. (Just a little background story to this, both my sons "dislike" Justin Bieber. I use the term "dislike" very loosely, whereas my sons have a more concrete word to describe him.  But I digress.)


So she starts cutting away, making small talk with both of us until she asks Isaiah, "So, is she your big sister?"


Both of us are silent.  Another exchange of disbelief looks.  I guess we didn't know if she was talking to us, or if she was serious.  But then she asks again. "Is she your big sister?"


Wow, was she for real?!??!
I then realized that she was, when she turned to me expecting me to answer her.
Now, could it have been the fact that my appearance that day wasn't up to my usual level when I go to work?  All I had on was a pair of jeans, a zipped up hoodie, white sneakers, my hair tied back and my sling bag over my shoulder.  A typical casual outfit, although not very age appropriate according to the stylist who unknowingly mistakens me for being someone almost half my age.


So I answered her back, "Umm, no.  He's my son." I smile back, and we all kind of laugh, all in an attempt to lift the awkwardness in the air as she replies, "Wow, you're a very young mom!"
Now, don't get me wrong, I've had people not believe me when I say to them that I have two sons at home, saying, "You're so young!  You don't even look like you've had kids!"  And I kindly accept the compliment, but to be mistaken for my son's bigger sister was somewhat surreal to me.


But I realized only after we left, that what had just happened was not a reflection of myself, but more so of my son.  It occurred to me that it wasn't about how young I appeared to look to the stylist, but it was about how grown up my son looked.  I then felt a twinge of sadness in my gut.  After all, my son now is almost my height, starting to talk like a teenager to his friends, starting to be a lot more aware of how he looks and what he wears, starting to not want to hold my hand when we're walking together, and starting to just 'give me the nod' when I say my good-byes for the day before going to work.  Not the usual hug and kiss, but 'the nod'.


My baby is growing up before my eyes!  Both of them at that!  As much as I try to keep up with what's going on with my sons, it seems like as soon as I get used to one thing (like knowing they're an XL when I buy them clothes), before I can blink my eyes, they're already a size S in adult clothes.


So, I sort of just took that exprerience for what it was.  It gave me an unexpected laugh, that's for sure.  But after the ironic moment, after we had left the stylist and were walking through the mall, my son gently looped his hand around my arm and hooks onto it, looks over at me and says, "Thanks Mommy", and lays his head on my shoulder for just a few moments.


Looks like there's still a little boy in him after all.  I think I'll take and settle for an arm hook instead of holding hands any day!