Monday, August 29, 2011

it all starts with an idea...

Last week, I was asked by my best friend to be a bridesmaid for her wedding next August.  Naturally, I was excited and honored...so, of course, I said yes!


Then...
She asked me if I could do her wedding invitations.  (Well, more like, she "told" me.  Ha ha.)
Now, mind you, card crafting is more of a hobby to me.  I've never really tried to venture out into selling my cards.  Aside from the one-off occasion during Christmas where people actually wanted to buy my cards...and I couldn't say no to making an extra dolla on the side. :)  But other than that, it's merely a casual hobby.


But nevertheless, I would do anything for my girl, so, I am definitely up for the challenge!  She sent me some websites and links to the types of styles she was interested in.  And instantly, I got inspired.  These are just some derived sketches based on the images she sent me.




And the following night, I made these mock invites.  Obviously, not the finished product, since there's still talk of different themes/colours and such, but you'll get the idea. 


Very simple, and streamlined...which makes for an easy template to work with.


Surprisingly, these weren't too difficult to make.  And I actually enjoyed making them; getting back into my card crafting mentality.  However, I'm bracing myself  now when I find out how many invites I will need to make in the not-too-distant future! Lord help me...lol!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

poetry session



Why Is It


Why is it
That when we are faced with
The sudden disconnection
Disruption and discontinuity
From someone regarded
With such loving esteem
Who is magnificent and significant
That penetrates to the very core of your being
That only then we belatedly see
The gravity of their personality
The uniqueness of their complexity
The rarity of their identity
The deepness of their company
But in hindsight
And cruel unforgiving honesty
I should have seen this coming
So I’ve tried to prepare my mind
Lessen my pride
And soothe my bruised identity
By recognizing the signs
To next time seize moments that
May have otherwise seemed fleeting
Because somehow
Our intentions were
Unintentionally miscommunicated
I should have patiently waited
Chilled out
Subsided and listened to your call
And cool calm cadence
I should have been respondent
To our realities
Instead of feeding into
Unrealistic fantasies
That somehow got to the best of our senses
I should not have questioned
What it meant to be in your presence
While you should not have tested
The worth within my essence
So fair enough, I can’t lie
We share a fair amount of grievance
I should not have
Wasted time
Analyzing and furiously desensitizing
An isolated incidence
Because in the absence of your presence
I’m now forced to ignore predominant traces
Of your prevalence
You ran so frequent though many an instance
And influenced deep sentiments
And longful pretenses
I’m now faced with relegating you as an acquaintance
And have struggled to find subsistence
To an otherwise inherent and intrinsic existence
I should have relished more
In our concrete experience
Because all I’m searching for
Is cognizance towards perseverance


See
I could have gone back to the very beginning
I could find reasons for our randomly pleasant
And one-off chance meeting
And dissect each and every word
Every sentence
Action and reaction
With a fine toothed comb
But I’m slowly learning to not enter into that mode
I should not query on what is already truly gold
But simultaneously
Concerning you
I should not speculate and claim to know
What I do not control
What I should continue to do
Is recognize and own
The part in which I had to play in this role
However
Wishfully thinking…
If ever we come across another moment
Between us both
Know that we should take it for what it truly is
And what it’s here for
We should not deny our need for companionship
And not let it take over
And impede our self-growth
We should take what we instinctually
And intimately know
About us and each other
And raise it
Appreciate it
Watch it
Sit upon that throne
So that we won’t ever forget
How dangerously close
We were to losing it
Because unfortunately
Not many people come across
Moments like those
The rare chance to grasp it
Atone for it and transpose
Ironically
I yearn for it
I aspire to capture it
If ever that moment arose
But for the time being
Naturally
I at least have the chance to express it
Through my therapeutic
And poetic prose
It’s my only answer and comfort
To the question originally posed
Why is it




-j.sanjuan






-Submission for Open Link Night, DVerse Poets Pub.  Link, Enjoy, Share!

Friday, August 26, 2011

listening pleasure

On the time of year during her passing (it's been 10 years already!)...here is another classic Aaliyah song...enjoy!




listening pleasure


Classic song for Friday. R.I.P Aaliyah, you are truly missed.(I still love this song, even if there's snakes in the video... :P)
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

ok...I did it...

...I joined Twitter!......lol.
It took a while for the convincing to kick in (most especially from my sis-in law). :D  But, I bit the bullet! And I've finally arrived!


My main motivation to open up a Twitter account was to start getting more involved with the local poetry community in Vancouver.  For those of you who already know, poetry/writing is my first love.  And I've been really wanting to push my boundaries in attempts to find different inspiration and creativity for my poems.


So voila!  I thought this would be the quickest and simplest way to do so.  And I have to admit, I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of energy I can draw from this, as well, getting excited as to what wonderful poets and artists are out there!


So come and find me: @j_poetry
I'm still in the skeleton stages of set-up...so bear with me while I slowly start making it pretty like this here beloved blog of mine.  LOL


Looking forward to this new step in self-discovery.

Monday, August 22, 2011

The August Break - Day 7

Day off!  Alas, it's a rainy day in Vancouver. And I had to run some errands.  Sooooo....


Lazy/messy hair + rainy day = headscarf !





Took no time at all to get ready.  Hope your start to the week is a blessed one!  :)

Sunday, August 21, 2011

conversations - pain in perspective

We've all come across instances where what may seem like a HUGE transgression (done unto you or you doing unto someone else, whatever the case maybe) means the whole world to you to "prove a point".


I don't come across these moments very often.
I try to avoid these moments as much as possible frankly because I hate them.  I hate the feeling associated with them.  Sometimes, these moments are unavoidable.


The majority of times, in very stressful confrontational situations, I usually shut down, and inherit the "silent treatment" gene passed down from my mother (which by the way every woman on my maternal side of the family has inherited and use quite well).  :P


The other rare times, I let my emotions get the best of me.  I then come out of character, and think I may be in my entitlement to say what I feel.  Granted, there are times where this rings true.  But in all situations where this instance occurs, what seems to be the common denominator, is that the words being said are words that I can never take back.  No matter how well I am within my "entitlement" or my "rights".


So lately, I've been trying to make sense of why this happens.  Why I've said the things I've said to certain people.......But recently, I've been given an opportunity to let it all go.


This opportunity unfortunately, with a heavy heart, had to come at a price.


This morning I had learned that someone I knew in high school had suddenly passed away.
Even though I didn't know him personally, a great handful of other people I know had had that gift of knowing him.  He leaves behind a wife and a young toddler son.


This struck me to the core.  There has not been anybody on the face of this earth that hasn't been affected by a loved one suddenly passing away.  So naturally, my heart sank, and a twinge of sadness came over me, remembering how it felt like to be in those first devestating moments.


So this puts pain into perspective.  Whatever I was stressing about yesterday, or a few days before that, suddenly became foolishly selfish and trivial.  And just like that, I let go of those petty greivances without any hesitation. It takes soooo much more energy to harbour ill feelings than to do the opposite.


(So if you're reading this, you know who you are...like you said, "we're cool...we'll always be"....forreal).


No matter how close you are to someone, whether you see them everyday, every now and then, every year, or 15 years ago in high school, they somehow touch your life one way or another.  Makes you realize things.  Appreciate things more.


To the families and friends greiving right now, my sincerest and deepest condolences.  I will pray for you, for him and his family.  Rest in peace.


Thursday, August 18, 2011

quotes

Sure, I have my fears.
It can hinder my progress.
Or drive me to face it and conquer it.
Either way, I have to acknowledge it's there.
It exists.
There are some fears:
-I still struggle with.
-I've allowed to dictate my actions.
-I've let take over and cloud my judgement.
(This can stem from a lot of things.  Everything from wanting to be accepted to not wanting to be alone, and all things in between)
-I've found are profoundly personal.
-I've also found are genuinely universal.
-I choose not to face (for whatever reason--the "I'm not ready" excuse).
-I've conquered (not without much adversity and hardship).


Being fearless is a constant work in progress. 
A constant examination of self, conscience, character, individuality, identity.
Being fearless might be desirable to some.
However, for me, not having enough fear can impede inspiration.
I'm still trying to figure out and find this fine balance.




"Fear only has as much power as we give it space."
- Josh Ritter

The August Break - Day 6




Sorry I haven't been keeping up with this challenge! It's become much harder than I thought. Well, here it is for today. This is the reason I love where I live; and this particular spot in Coal Harbour (beside the Olympic Torch) is where I go and sit during my lunch. I am so lucky. :)

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Monday, August 15, 2011

quotes

Every now and then, I know that for myself, I tend to look back at my life and wonder certain things.  How did I get to a certain situation or circumstance (albeit professionally and/or personally), what kind of conscious decisions have I made that directly affect my position in life, and what kind of people I surround and associate myself that help create an intended outcome (simply to aid or complement the way I want to have myself be put out there).


Mind you, sometimes these situations/decisions/personalities can be a source of minor frustration.  However, the vast majority of these instances where I tend to look back at things, I am just merely being thankful.  Being thankful that regardless of it having a negative or positive impact on me, there certainly is a reason behind the things, places and people we have in our life.  Our only goal in life is to simply recognize and appreciate them to the greatest most possible degree.


All of the above came to mind when I read this quote.




"When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. "


-Henri J.M. Nouwen

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The August Break - Day 5


Crazy for Crazy Roll! (My favourite sushi roll at the moment! Basically, it's a deep fried California Roll with a lil bit of cream cheese in the middle with spicy sauce!)
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Saturday, August 06, 2011

The August Break - Day 4


-What gets me through my mornings. (And that lil tequila bottle in the background is what gets me through my afternoons.) :D
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Thursday, August 04, 2011

The August Break - Day 3

My favourite tea at the moment - Mango Madness from this cool lil' shop in the local mall where I live.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

The August Break - Day 2

Ever wonder what's in a woman's purse?  It's like looking into a woman's soul, pretty much.


What would someone think of me when looking at my contents?  Hmmm...I dunno...you can have a look for yourself.  I think that judging from the contents below, the word that comes to mind is 'simple'.
(My make-up bag...could be another story...stay tuned...).



1. Wallet
2. Hair claw - useful and a necessity in humid weather and while grindin' away at my desk at work
3. Keys
4. Gym membership I.D. with my transit pass on the flip side of it
5. Kleenex
6. Ipod - goes everywhere that I go, cannot leave without it
7. Phone - yes, I keep my phone and my music seperate....in case either one dies or crashes, I still have the one or the other to keep my company for the time being...lol
8. Gum
9. Eye drops - for my contact lenses
10. Pen
11 & 12. Lip Gloss and Lip Balm - another thing I cannot leave the house without.
13. Camera - for special occasions


Voila!  What do you keep in your purse?

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

The August Break - Day 1

Here is my 1st photo journal entry for this month!


So imagine this, coming home late from work, around 10:30 p.m. Semi- stressful day. Haven't spoken to my boys since this morning when I left....
And I see this note waiting for me, stuck on the kitchen table....



What an awesome way to end the evening. See you tomorrow!


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Monday, August 01, 2011

The August Break



I'm running into yet another creative block with my poetry. So, I have decided to join this challenge that I found on this talented photographer's blog. Instead of using my words, I'll use snapshots of what I see everyday--all in an attempt to be more present for the last month of summer.




If you're interested in joining this challenge, please click here for all the details.


It's quite simple -- share one photo (or more!) per day on your blog – Monday to Friday, or every day. Or whenever you feel moved to share. Using any camera – DSLR, compact, Polaroid, Holga, iPhone, Instax, film or digital – with or without words – anything goes! – for the whole of August. No pressure – just looking at August through your camera lens as a way to be more present this summer. And to have a little break from the pressures and expectations of regular blogging.


Wish me luck!!!
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