Monday, April 09, 2012

poetry session


Forever Afflicted


Today marks the day,
The moments,
Where I relive each occasion
With reminiscent tears
And nightmarish persuasion
I numb the pain
Let reason invade
My mind as to why,
How,
I had lived through this
Surreal hallucination
Now,
All that remains,
Are unanswered questions, like...

Was I strong enough...
…To care for you?
Was I worthy enough...
…To carry you?

The thought of knowing who you were
Had escaped me
Before I even knew you existed
And having belatedly seen
How this has affected me,
It's shown me a type of pain
Only bereaved mothers know of
And never fully recover from
Forever afflicted

Who
Can really point fingers and
Self inflict blame
Except you
It comes upon you naturally
On guilty parties and
Already bruised womb
The ache never ceases,
And pain never subdues.
Never knowing why
Never given the chance
To choose you.


j.sanjuan




**This poem is dedicated to all women who have experienced the pain and loss of losing a child, through miscarriage, or any other sort of circumstance beyond our control and choices.  I share this with you; I survive this with you. It's been 9 years.  Writing about this for the first time brought some kind of healing.  Poetry has always brought me solace.  With what I create, simultaneously saves me.  And from this experience, for whom I create, never failingly watches over me.  Here's to our angels...



Sunday, April 08, 2012

i heart vintage hair- part 2

It's been quite some time since I've actually "blogged" about something.  I've mostly been in poetry mode.  However, I feel it's time to re-connect in this type of atmosphere, so as to show you my attempt at something new.


As I've blogged about in a previous post a while back, I love love love vintage hair.  I just never really found the time (or the occasion) to ever muster up the creativity to actually attempt at styling my own hair in such beautiful manner.  Until now....


One of my girlfriends, having reached a milestone in her life by turning 40 years young, was having a birthday dinner.  What a perfect opportunity to 'experiment'.  Luckily enough, earlier in the week, I had stumbled across an amazing tutorial that seemed easy enough to do.


So voila...here is my attempt at doing a Suicide Hair Roll...









It took me about an hour to do just the roll alone!  Lawdahmercy...  (Mind you, it was my first attempt.)  I figure once I get used to doing this, I'll be able to cut the time in half. :)
Plus I sprayed the shiznit out of the hairspray bottle, in order to secure the look. Another reason why I'll only do this for very special occasions! :D


But after all the hair teasing, hair spraying and bobby pinning, I actually had a lot of fun doing this!  I'll make sure on my second attempt, I'll do another post for some pointers. :)