Friday, December 30, 2011

Thursday, December 29, 2011

conversations - december in review

December, for me, always marks crossing a threshold.  Partly because of the obvious reason of the year coming to an end and eagerly anticipating the new year; its new challenges & its experiences.  


There are constant moments of "letting go" and "embracing" what is yet to come.


This month has been extra challenging for me.  First of all because of my "lull" in writing.  I have so many feelings I would like to express, stemming from a lot of personal issues, but can't find the right words to do it just yet.


Although, it did help with my recent work conference in Hawaii earlier this month.  Being in the midst of such beauty and serenity did help propel some thoughts to paper.  And I will always carry that with me.








The biggest challenge of all, was being a labour coach for my girlfriend, who's baby was due towards the end of December.  


And in fact, this morning, at 5:53am, we welcomed Finn to the world.  




I really didn't know what to expect in stepping into this support role.  I only hoped that what I know from experience, with giving birth to 2 boys myself, that it would be enough to provide focus and calm to such a tumultuous yet far-from-dull pregnancy.  Seeing Finn for the first time brought back feelings of such elation and joy.  And all I could do is embrace it, soak it in and be grateful that I was a part of such a wonderful moment!


All I can say, is that I couldn't find a better way to round off a stressful, emotionally filled, rollercoaster-of-a-ride year for me....


...and I wouldn't trade any of these moments for the world.



Wednesday, December 28, 2011

micropoetry


When your negativity divides
I rise
Strive towards eminence
And let eminent worriment
Pass me by.





Sunday, December 25, 2011

micropoetry session


I heard once that
The right person
At the wrong time
Is still the wrong person.
Missing you worsens.
But missing you doesn't warrant
Deserving to be with you.
Neither does it mean
That you miss me too.



micropoetry session


Create in me
Room
For me to be
Consumed
By your need
To be
Used



micropoetry - sixwords


Prove me wrong. Show me different.




Saturday, December 24, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

micropoetry session


I traced lines with my fingertips
Ones that I've memorized
The shape of your body with.
Wantonly
Yearning and aching
For
Concreteness.





micropoetry session


Brave with faith
To revolutionalize minds with me.
Scribe the sublime with me.
Incite enticement with me.





micropoetry session


Stimulate a conversation
Between
Your unadulterated schemes
And my need
For
Infatuated
Consummation.




micropoetry - sixwords



You'll forever stay on my mind.




micropoetry - sixwords



Wrap me with your word rapture.




Monday, December 19, 2011

micropoetry session


Question the intention
Of selfish love and evil aggression.
But nevertheless
Never lessen
To love those who
Love selfless
Who continue to
Reside beside you
Through life's tests and
Limitless lessons.





micropoetry session


Invest in me
Whatever you see fit.
And I'll see to it
That you've spent your moments wisely
With all that is intuitively
Vested in me.






micropoetry session - 2lines


Lessen your stresses.
Coalesce your presence with me.






Wednesday, December 14, 2011

conversations - writers lull

I found myself in this lull.
This unpredictable period of time in my "writer's cycle".
No telling how long this will last.
In all honesty, it's not a writer's block, per se.
On the contrary, I find that I've been coming up with verses with each passing day.
But it's all just in bits and pieces right now.

And also, I just have been keeping my distance from certain things.
I find that usually in these periods of lull, I don't have the energy to actually sit and focus on writing a full length poem.
I usually like to dedicate myself entirely.
And I find that lately, I don't have the time nowadays either.
Inspiration doesn't come as easily as it used to.

But it's something that I'm working on.

So in the meantime, so as to NOT be so detached, I've already added a 'micropoetry session' feature.  This comes in handy for those short verses that I just can't help but share.

In addition, I've also created another page that's dedicated soley to my poetry.

Please check out my poetry blog, befittingly called:  j_poetry  (the same as my twitter).
I've made it very similar to this here personal blog of mine, yet very streamlined and simple so as to focus more on my words, rather than some of the other content I choose to share on this beloved page. :)

Patience is key in my trying time. 
I'm open to finding new things to write about every day.
To my fellow poets/writers, thank you.  You are a constant source of inspiration for me.

As much as this lull can be so easily seen counter-productive, I embrace it as part of my journey.

I won't be long.......


Tuesday, December 06, 2011

conversations - photo journal


Sometimes, once in a while in your life, you need to step back and appreciate things as they are. Good and bad. Choosing to let go; Choosing to remember. Whatever it is, just be thankful that it happened nonetheless.
Because being in the midst of beauty such as this, there is no need to dispute the whys. It just IS.
Blessings to you all.






Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

poetry session

Just Right


He is…
Just the right
Kind of man to
Pique my curiosity and
Make steady my interest
He exudes this quiet confidence
That lends itself perfectly to my
Laid back, breezy intelligence
Influences an abundance of instances
To showcase and present
Mental
Physical
Sexual indulgence
Over and over and over again…..
He possesses
Just the right blend
Of mentality
By trying to be
A better man
Manifesting and maintaining
A confident, rough yet
Mature swag
While
Simultaneously transcending
Over former
Failings and shortcomings
Physically
His man-ness and virility commands
Me to let go of all my insecurities
Because his sensibility allows me
To safely trust him entirely and completely
Sexually
He takes me on a journey
Motivates my senses
Satiates my quench
And appetency
With great consideration
In the utmost unchaste nature and disposition
Instigating conversations in
Erotically infused obscenities
Translating me to involuntarily
Saturate my wet sweetly
Yet he intently
Studies my geography
Intimately grazes over
The rolling hills of my hips
The dip in my waist
The hollow in my spine
And the rigid rise of my mountain tips
Hands making his trip
Back to my steady thighs and moistened ripened lips
Vying to penetrate
Complying to take
Each thrust that is made
Savoring the extensiveness
That his thickness maintains
Engaging and repaying back
Each pleasurable twitch with rain
Over and over and over again…..
And once climax and orgasm
Are finally met
The rapture subsides
I center myself to catch a breath

I recognize
That he is…

Just the right
Kind of man
That I
Can visualize
To have in my life
He continuously
Challenges my mind
And therefore sheds light
For authenticity to be realized
He is…
So much more
Than what I thought I knew
In all honesty
He is truth
And with all that I know is in me
With all that God has given me and created me to be
It is more than enough proof
And certainty
To believe
That I have the capacity
To be his equal
It almost seems quite spiritual
To be in his space
His love is made king
With each kiss and every embrace
Anything and everything
Is made perfect in its place
Because
He is…
Just the right
Kind of man



…That no other man
Could ever replace


-j.sanjuan

Saturday, October 15, 2011

micropoetry session

I am
One who will give you a chance
To provide a demonstration
And display one's true characterization
Because quite frankly
I am
Drawn to that kind of association




-j.sanjuan

poetry session

Moment Of Weakness (Work In Progress)


I can immerse myself
In the anger
The grief and the melancholy
That has suddenly
Come over me
And for a quick moment
I can concede to feel
The burn
The ache
The injury
I can keep
Wondering
Prolonging
Feeding
My insecure anxieties
Carry on
My heartache and sadness
Accept defeat and
Smile through the madness
Embrace the fear
Cause the moment I thought
Would never come
Is finally here
I welcome its arrival
Adapt to the atmosphere
Hospitality never felt so
Cold and insincere


-j.sanjuan

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

listening pleasure

I haven't been able to stop talking or thinking about this since I saw this last night.
This right here -- makes me fall in love with hip hop all over again.
All I can say is WOW.
See for yourselves and get familiar.

Monday, October 10, 2011

poetry session


R.I.P.


Seeing that
We both made
Our choices
And there simply is
No turning back
The fact of the matter remains
I’m still pained
By your departure

And I can surely start
To slowly walk away
But
You saw me in ways
Others couldn’t possibly
Understand
Yet here I stand
Looking over our grave
Mourning over something
That we couldn’t possibly save

Resting In Peace

And while I still feel
The emptiness and heartache
I will only take away with me
Moments where you unfailingly
Made me feel so elated and free
Appreciated for being me
And for that
I will always be
Eternally grateful

So in ending
I’m lending you my apologies
For leading us down this road
To inevitability
And the only way for me
To amend my iniquities
To redeem and do right by our memory
Is to never cease and keep

Reminiscing In Poetry


 
-j.sanjuan
 

Friday, September 30, 2011

poetry session

Allure


The allure of it all
Can render you
Suddenly defenseless
Knock you down swiftly
Before you even realize
You’re trying desperately
Grabbing anything to break your fall
‘Cause you’re left shocked and
Utterly senseless

When the allure wears off
You’re suddenly aware that
All this time
You thought you were flying so high
Seeing the world in all its’ hues and bright lights
That all the while
It’s always been black and white
And you were really only a hair length’s shy
Away from the concrete solid ground

When the allure dies down
You’re left with picking up the pieces
A thousand million fragments
Of yourself
Wondering if and hoping that he’s hurting
Equally and better yet at the same magnitude
As yourself

The allure of it all
Can make you feel like
You’d accept any and every reason
To try and keep your hopes alive
When all this time
He’s already balled up his fist
All set to end it
Ready to hit
And you’re bracing for the sting
‘Cause what ultimately strikes you blind
Is the very thing
That both of you were trying to escape
In the first place
Is the bittersweet reality without you called life



-j.sanjuan

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

conversations - celebrations, hip hop & such...


As another year passes by, I am ever grateful for the simple things.

Reunions:
(my BFF from Winnipeg made a surprise visit as my gift)



Celebrations:





Food:







Hip Hop:
 (De La Soul Concert @ The Commodore)









(my bday gifts)




Poetry:
(my latest)



And just being me:
(having a cappuccino while the cafe is playing Mos Def inside)

(Cafe Medina)

(an afternoon in Gastown with my sis)

(the lunch spot - Rogue Kitchen & Wet Bar)






Thank you Lord, for blessing me with another day, another year, another moment to share, live, teach, hope and love.

poetry session & birthday wishes

Today is my birthday...
It's also my 100th post!
So I saw it fitting that, in true fashion, I should share my latest.  Enjoy!
Much love and thank you for all the birthday greetings!  Blessings.




I Am. I Have.


I am…


A woman to take heed
A voice to be heard
Like a writer’s creativity
Ever present, undeterred
…A presence to acknowledge
A glimpse to the eye
Steal it quick, bide your time
Before I pass you by


I am…
Lips to kiss
Skin to touch
Arms to hold
Someone to love
…A meeting to your mind
An idea to behold
The clarity to your vision
The quiet to your soul


I am…
A force to be felt
A softness to be caressed
A stronghold to your testament
An exhale to your breath
…A stimulant for your intellect
An exhibition for your thoughts
A curiosity to explore
An experience to be taught


I am…
Want for your desire
A quickness to be tamed
A fantasy to be realized
A reason to instigate
…Sweetness to your tongue
Succulence to your taste
The motion to your freak
An opening to penetrate


I am…
The answer to your call
The wealth in what you seek
The rhythm to your cadence
The companion you bespeak


I am…
Quite simply
A sundry of things
But I also uphold and maintain
The outcomes in which I create


I have…
Words to recite
Knowledge to share
Poems to write
And beliefs to declare
…Ideas to instill
Actions I still might dare
Fears to overcome
And dreams to ensnare


I have…
Hope to possess enough
Inspiration to pass on
To ignite individual creativity
To nurture, to call upon
I have…
Speech to convey
To articulate, to put across
Poetic justice for those
Who have chosen to do me wrong


I have…
Lessons to still learn
Bad habits to outgrow
Truth to constantly seek
And selfishness to forego
I have…
Fears that set me back
Apprehension I sometimes can’t shake
Too much to lose
And everything at stake


But I have…
Faith to keep me going
And love to keep me fixed
Support to keep me stable
And passion to want to exist
I have…
Love to give
Room to grow
Faith to action
And sins to atone


I have…
Sons to raise
Family to care for
Friends to hug
And strangers to pray for
I have…
Loved ones and lost ones
Ones I will constantly miss
Passed-on-at-peace ones
Whose presence I’ll never forget


I have…
Patience to keep me still
Silence to keep me sane
Humility to keep my peace
And dignity to maintain my grace
I have…
Past experiences to draw upon
Future times to look forward to
Constant struggle to rise above
And a wiser woman to grow into






-j.sanjuan.



Thursday, September 22, 2011

listening pleasure

 It's the first heavy, rainy day in Vancouver to mark that Fall is here!


I'm working from home today, and lucky that I don't have to commute in the downpour.


This is what I listen to when I'm at work--at home.  Enjoy!


Happy Thursday!


Thursday, September 15, 2011

conversations - reading pleasure

I am soooooo looking forward to picking up a copy of this book right here, by one of my favorite artists and inspirations of all time, Common. Just haven't gotten around to make my way to the bookstore unfortunately (with this crazy week of work and back to school for my kids). But my birthday is coming up real quick! So I'm really excited to do some birthday reading!



Here is a video of Common on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart promoting his book, "One Day It'll All Make Sense". :)...(you might want to fast forward to 14:14 when the interview actually begins.  I couldn't find a better video without getting re-routed someplace else to watch it...unless of course you find Jon Stewart amusing like I do, feel free to watch the whole thing!)




Sidenote: For those who are interested in what they may be referring to at the beginning of the interview, regarding Common's poetry reading at the White House earlier this year, I've posted links to that particular 'conversation' below as well. This 'conversation' is between Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly, sharing their obviously diverse opinions. But more importantly and interestingly enough, I think it may provide a more insightful look on how things can get blown out of proportion. (Insert a certain TV network here). LOL.


Part I





Part 2




Wednesday, September 14, 2011

photo journal

I came across this post that really inspired me, and I wanted to share this with you on my blog.
Plus, I've decided, that from this post alone, I need to create a new photo journal feature, to share any images that I find moving or inspiring.  (I thought, hey, if I can share my music through "listening pleasure", I might as well do the same for photos!)


Here it is, I hope you enjoy it.  Please visit the source from where I found this lovely piece of inspiration.  Happy Hump Day!




"Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword"




Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Monday, September 12, 2011

poetry session


You Could Be




You could be so many things to me


You could be my new beginning
My light, my answer
The end to my selfish living


You could be my motivation
My inspiration
My chance to set things in motion


You could be my equal
My counterpart, my vision
The purpose for my creation


You could have me smilin’
Laughin’, cryin’, cursin’
Believin’ in the end that it’s all worth it


You could have me singing to myself
And floating off the ground
And not worry about how I sound, whatever


You could have me writing books, flying off the shelf
Because you inspire me enough
To just wanna write something down, however


You could more appropriately be
The muse to my poetry
The personification to my thoughts


You could be my verse
The last phrase, the last word
My title, my priority, significantly on top


You could be my calm
The pulse breaking my monotony
Or the peace to my distraught


You could be my prayer
The one to help face my fear
Because you are everything that I am not


You could be my all
You could be my everything
You could be part of something revolutionary


You could be my love
You could be the one
But painstakingly enough


You could be all the things in a man
That I could ever want
You could be so many things to me…..
But you’re not.




-j.sanjuan

Sunday, September 11, 2011

listening pleasure

It's a Frank Ocean type of Sunday.....not one....



...but two songs for your enjoyment!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

listening pleasure

Such an amazing message. I hope you enjoy and take this poem to heart like I do. :)


Monday, September 05, 2011

poetry session



(Untitled)




I am trying to redefine my filter
I should try to endeavor to unmask my emotions
For times when I would rather
Say what I feel
And do what I find positively necessary
To capture a moment and save it
Relish it, taste it
Take pleasure in
Delight in
These short-lived distinctive rarities


For example
It’s the times when instead of casually approaching you
I would normally evoke a sense of coolness and integrity
You greeting me in the same manner ever so nonchalantly
Like “Hey, what’s up…how you been…what you been up to lately”…
I would then instantly
Pick up my stride at just
The sight of you patiently waiting
For my arrival
Enable me
To grasp your hand
Clasp onto and lace your fingers
Embrace and keep a steadfast hold of your stature
And linger……………………………………………
Delay my release
P.D.A. garners no apologies
While I passionately kiss you and make you wish
You’d never missed me


But the keyword here is “trying”
In the course of my redefining
I’m finding it’s harder for the aligning
Of my words and actions to become one and the same
Because I guess my pride still gets in the way
And I know one day there will be a time
When all this talk becomes streamlined with my mind
And actions start to materialize
While my filter starts to desensitize


For example
It’s the times when instead of casually saying good-bye to you
I would normally seem like I’d be ok
And I could handle myself when you’re away
Like “Take care of yourself……you too……I’ll see you again someday”
I would then instantly
Honestly and genuinely
Look into your eyes and say
And admit that yes…
I…WILL…miss…you
I truly and already do
And I’d smile...gently and flirtatiously
Look into your eyes
And unmask the softness in your disguise
As you reciprocate to reply
I. Will. Miss. You. Too.
We would grasp our hands
Clasp onto and lace our fingers
And we would embrace
And allow it to linger………………………………………
Delay our release
Because my non-filter
Garners no apologies
To never regret and miss these opportunities
Versus an alternate reality
Where my filter would alternately just hesitate and let it be


But wait………………
Maybe I’m just subconsciously speaking
Maybe realizing
And perhaps rationalizing that
I personally
Would rather us just positively
Mean what we say,
And say what we mean
Wouldn’t it be easier that way?
From the very beginning
Without hesitating
And thinking about whether or not we’re filtering
Our emotions
Because wouldn’t it all just be preconceived notions
Trying to fight its way to the surface
I mean
If we are who we say we are
And be who we say we’ll be
In favorable times and also in times of need
There should be no need for a series of contrived happenings
It should all just come naturally
Simply
From the heart
And it should translate in our actions so effortlessly
I don’t know, maybe
I should start
To question why I NEED to have filters
Or why I need to redefine them so relevantly
I just want to do whatever is necessary
To become unforgettable, see
Possibly
It’s because I feel you slipping away from me
And this is my mind trying to re-enact moments
Where I could have done or said things a little differently


Well, I just hope that whatever the case maybe
Filter or no filter
That we continue to strive to do from our heart
Speak with our mind
Connect with our soul
From start to demise
Whenever we begin to toe the line
Let it not be a question on whether or not we used our filters
Whether we did enough to paint that perfect picture
But rather
It’s how we let these moments define us
And the way we endure
To write our scripture




-j.sanjuan