Saturday, March 04, 2017

poetry session


When She Speaks…


You realize
There was no other way to convey it
No other way for it to have played out
The way it did…
Divine Order… is what it is…
The excruciation and the
Sedation
Derived from broken hearts and
Cataclysmic devastation
Caused you to fall apart from what he did…
Gradually accepting the gravity of what is…
Not only did you fall apart at the seams
It seems you also broke open the unseen
Seeing your reflection that needed self love more than anything
A love with deeper connection like maternal ancestral beings
A love that never asks or demands attention
A love that is unattached yet deep-seated in wisdom
When She Speaks…
You have nothing to do… but listen…

Let Her Speak…
In fact… ALLOW her room…
Create her space in you…
Let her voice resonate
Her aura assimilate
Let love recreate new patterns for you
Let love in and rewrite stories for you…
Realize that all those poems he asked you to write are unfinished
Because… you needed to complete the countless anthologies about you, first…
Immerse and baptize in her energy and hindsight
Revitalize the memory on what it’s like to feel alive
What it’s like to strive towards realization from our fantasies
Manifestation from our majesty

Speak your being into existence
When She Speaks…
Tell the stories about the ever changing landscape
Of your mind state
The geography of your heart space
And the journeys that your breath takes
How you loved yourself out of those tight spaces and comfortable places
How you zoned in on higher elevation
And drew from feminine divination
Tell those stories of healing from excavation as commemoration
How your soul birthed tears from pain and laceration
Your bruised wombs from miscarriage to… carrying out our choice
Both carry insurmountable weight
And often times the pain becomes voice-less
Emanicpate… and Let Her Speak…
Give voice to all the parts of you that were afraid of judgment
In this world of being a woman in this patriarchal endorsement
Realize that you are a walking revolution
Make third eyes intensify and are the basis for evolution
The very stride of your step…And rise of your breast
Petrify and sadly enough are found reason enough for persecution
They try to silence your shine
Disqualify… under-qualify
Over sexualize and lay claim to our own bodies
Objectify regardless of how WE identify
Vilify our motives when we’re asked why WE are not smiling
Conditioned to nullify our power
Silenced when we are OVERpowered
Shamed as victims of rape
But when we let Her speak, we keep on surviving…
Rise from the places of darkness and low
Give voice to the parts of you that SCREAMED NO!
The parts of you that fought back SO LOUDly
NO one was ALLOWED to get lost in translation
Yet forced you into a box of victimized damnation
Let Love Speak… and redefine these societal narrations
It is NOT your fault… allow her to ignite sensations
Of healing into your being
Feel that when you are in receipt of weakness
These are moments or catalysts
These are opportunities to realize
It is your own majesty that you are seeing
Your own reflection is enough meaning
Ascended…
From past scars of healed broken hearts…
From cancer treated wombs and breasts
To caesarian section marked pelvises
To stretch marked tigress stripes
To vast spectrums of melanin types
From unexpected loss
Of lost daughters, Indigenous or not
Of aunts, of mothers, sisters and friends…
Risen…
Like the Phoenix with ashes in our midst
United with Spirit and strengthened from within
We are the Divine Feminine Collective…
When we heal ourselves
We heal generations
Realize…
When we seek the restorative speech
To bequeath our healing
Onto our soul and spiritual physique
We. Do. Not. Stutter.
We re-write new codes for our daughters
And bestow our maternal ancestors reprieve
Look to the future with our ability
To grow seeds
Instead of money trees
Because we manifest abundance within our very own being
Lead revolutions that house cadence to our everyday needs
Find absolution and penance within our very own vulnerability…

So…
Listen…
When She Speaks…
Allow healing to put together the fragments
Be still without becoming stagnant
Move forward and trust in advancement
Dissolve destructive patterns… no need for re-enactment
Live life with the Divine commandments
Be forgiving with whatever happens
Honor yourself with your beautiful unapologetic talents
Let go and release negative attachment

Step into your power and know
That it was and is ALREADY yours
Source confirms its origin
And found its course in you…
Be true and continue to undo
The triggers life conditioned you to pursue
Make anew
Create renewed purpose and be driven
With a new definition and feeling of being complete
And know
That
When She Speaks

You are always there… to listen…




-j.jimenez
March 2017


Friday, May 20, 2016

poetry session



Even the pages of my journal knew
How much I loved you
Better than anyone else
Better than you yourself
I poured all hope and faith into our story
All strength and belief into the expected outcomes
Until the expected became too much
Became "not enough"

I stay away from those pages...
But they beckon me to come back
Much like how my spirit calls out to yours
For a sign.. or any form of contact


-j.jimenez
May 2016

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

poetry session





You thought you could handle his intensity
And as much as it challenged you...
Changed you...
As much as it made you hate yourself for questioning all the visceral feelings you knew to be true...
As much as he still brought out the utmost best in you...
You rode that wave masterfully
In your own way
In your own right
Despite the growing pains of give and take
You still managed to give him more of you than he could ever ask for
You made it easy...
You gave him the universe manifested in your being...

And when the ties were broken
The universe halted
The world became silent
The only difference is
You eventually and painfully outgrew
The world you both made your way into...
The world that you both created...
The world that you both made your home
And you loved every single moment
Every single second
Wouldn't trade it in
Treading with passion

You tried to balance the equation of time x distance with your unwavering support and generosity
Giving more of yourself that was more than necessary
Yet it still wasn't enough...
It still wasn't enough to dissolve the vast geographical meridians in your way
Even though there were countless times that love was magical... Transformational...
Even though those moments were proof... They were temporary...
Even though despite the obvious obstacles...
You believed you would be able to transcend them...
It wasn't enough...

You learned a hard lesson, didn't you?
You learned that... Love ISN'T enough
Even though YOU were enough...
You ARE enough...

YOU are enough with all your quiet strength and vulnerability
YOU are enough with your kind and open heart
YOU are enough with your undying loyalty
YOU are enough with your unapologetic erotic tendencies
YOU are enough with all your fresh wounds and past dated scars
YOU are worthy...

Continue to break...
Continue to empty yourself...
Continue to forgive yourself...
Until you can love yourself again...



Monday, May 16, 2016

poetry session




I am
Trying to find the remaining
Traces of you when we saw each other last…
On my hands
On my skin
On my lips
In my womb
In my heart
In my veins
Traces that have since evaporated into silence and stillness
The kind that turns love from a verb…
Into a noun…
Into just another word
Another sound
The kind that turns emotion upside down
Growing stagnant at every roundabout
I try to counterbalance and transcend the silence…
And all I am left with is defiance
And a need for comprehension…
Where did
We fall?
Where did we
Go wrong?
Where were we travelling to…
To let this go on for so long?

I am trying
To find balance in this equation…
Because I have memorized and know all too well
What it feels like
To multiply distance
By more distance
I know that my third eye and heart weren’t failing me that last time…
Weren’t trying to shield me from the happiness, joy and unity we felt
Every time we divided the distance in half…
In thirds…
In quarters…
In meters…
In millimeters…
Until the distance was slashed down to zero…
Touching…
Making everything real again…
Multidimensional
Recreating linear shapes of your face from screenshots and FaceTime
Into real-time…
Multi-sensory…
Retracing and rehabilitating those pathways where brainwaves
Recollected your touch
Your scent…
And paved new lanes into my mouth to taste you…
You are the same…
Yet new every time…
Those old sensations made new extrapolate into my spirit…
And I re-educate
Resuscitate my inner being…

Remind me why we ever left…?
Remind me why we chose this
Torturous road of unconditional love and
Passionate unrest…?

Remind me…
Remind me…
Remind me…


-j.jimenez

April 2016


  

poetry session




You left traces of your being everywhere
Seeped into every aspect of living
And every intimate state of being
How I now fold shirts just the way you like
How the cutlery is laid
What lotion I like to use
What healthy alternatives to choose for cooking.
I never found it to be anything else but amusing…
We were each other’s companions
I made a home for you
Warm and welcome
Whenever you were ready to come back…
And there was no harm in that…
It’s just that
Now that you’re never coming back
I am conflicted on what to do with
The parts of you that I created in my space
You remind me of my father…
You crept into every aspect of my life despite your absence.
I grew to hate it
Attempted to erase it
I don’t know how old I was
When the line between you wanting to leave became blurred with me wanting to forget you…
Am I still that younger version of me?
Or am I just replicating the behaviour…
Learned from my mother
Demonstrating the definition of love
Was to be “faithful and forever in waiting”
I was never successful…
I believed I had it in me…
And I gave it my best…
No regrets…
My definition of love needs redefining…
Could it be too much to ask to be considered or put first?
Is it too much to handle?
Too unfathomable?
Regardless of the odds
After all, I am my mother’s daughter
I carry my father’s last name…
But I am not their mistakes
I still carry hope
That situations can change…
You have left an imprint onto my soul
And I can never be the same…
Where do I go?
How do I begin to heal


The now empty spaces that your absence has unpleasantly revealed?



j.jimenez
May 2016


poetry session



You asked me to write you a love poem
Because it let you know how much I loved you
And I wrote them
Alchemistic in nature
I turned every feeling you gave me
Every instance of joy and ecstasy…
Pain and pleasure
Every moment you challenged me
Every moment of anger
Of freedom and redemption
Of sorrow and grief
Of home and healing
And transformed them into countless anthologies
And showered them over you
Demonstrated them to you
Through action
Never stagnant
Never prideful
Never judgemental
Accepted your scars
And caressed your wounds
If only you knew
The universes I created for you
Where we were so intertwined
Our unborn children lovingly
With curiosity
Listened to our soliloquies…
They
Heard bedtime stories
And amused by them
They
Cradled and fell asleep to them



You asked me
To feed you
So…
We both travelled together
Wearing nothing but vulnerability and trust
And unexpectedly supplied each other
An endless abundance of love
That it may as well have been
Us bearing witness
To a manifestation of Mother Earth herself…
I supplied you
Infinite rolling hills
Majestic mountain peaks
Vast Valleys deep
Cleansing sweet waterfalls
To quench thirsts and needs
Derived from our own definition of distance and eternity
That we could unequivocally strike the words “lonely” and “apart” from our vocabulary
Eternally I welcomed you
I let you enter into every part of my being
I consented and allowed you to supply me
Release of my past transgressions
And make new beginnings with you
Because I trusted you
I… Love… You
We baptized each other
With tantric and karmic energy
The gods themselves reveled in our unison
Catching every thrust
And reciprocating it with
Endless cultivating grounds so fertile and fruitful…
Bear your seed
So we can begin raising
The revolution

--

You asked me
To love you
I always have…
You asked me
To never leave you lonely
Alas
We are nothing but
Victims of circumstance
Every moment you needed me
I never hesitated to be by your side
The best way I knew how
You asked me
For me…
And I gave you all I had

(…And I would never trade it in
…I would do it all over again
In a heartbeat…)

.
.-j.jimenez

May 2016



Back from hiatus...



There is no greater motivation than love and pain...




Thursday, January 01, 2015

micropoetry session



Amplified Black voices
Beautiful raging symphonies
In solidarity
Fighting 
For the breathless


Sunday, May 11, 2014

My Open Letter To Mothers on Mother's Day


With very little sleep while working on call, manned with my laptop, camping out on the couch with a bad lower back because the boys commandeered my bed in my small 1 bedroom apartment...
I could have complained.
About my work.
About my twisted back. 
But no, I chose to think different.
I am still grateful for these moments, despite the soreness and the tiredness. 
I am grateful for the sheer simplicity of being able to glance over from my couch and see that my two teenage sons are sleeping well and comfortably
Despite the lack of space on the bed
Despite how their feet tend to now hang off the edge because they are turning into friggin giants
I would not trade the tiredness or the soreness for anything. 
I am here.. with them.
No lavish breakfast in bed. No fancy flowers or dinner. 
Because I don't ask for much from them.
Because THEY are enough. 
THEY are my reason.... and I am so grateful and honoured to be their mother.

As the daylight creeps in, Isaiah, my 14 year old, gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, sees me working away, he decides to act aloof and be his teenage self, but out of the blue he simply hands me three chocolate chip cookies (one of my favourite things in the world) from the cupboard and says, "Happy Mother's Day". :D

To new mothers and mothers-to-be
To co-mothers
To mothers who care for kids with illness
To mothers battling illness
To grieving mothers
To those who no longer have their mothers with them
To mothers who for whatever reason are unable to be with their kids
To the mothers of the 200+ missing school girls in Nigeria, whether they celebrate this day together with us or not and all mothers of missing children

These women... 
Are acquaintances, co-workers, friends, best friends, my sisters, my cousins, my aunts, 
Some are strangers
Whom I don't love or pray for any less

To most importantly, my mom....



You were both my mom and my father for most of life
With endless sacrifice, love and support
You gave and continue to give your all.... to me, my sister and my brother
As well as to my own sons
And as I am starting to see parts of your life echo and intertwine into my own life,
I only hope and pray that I equally become the woman and mother that you are to me to be able to endure my challenges ahead....

Endless love, light, prayers and blessings to ALL MOTHERS today.
I share this day with you.



Monday, December 30, 2013

micropoetry session


He is the sum
Of all his parts' legacies 
While still maintaining his own 
Ongoing 
Definition of the equation 



Tuesday, September 03, 2013

poetry session

They say to keep it simple.
Write what you know.
Or even, just write SOMETHING, sit in front of your notebook or keyboard and don't move until you do.

Well, this is a result of having an afternoon to myself, reflecting on the above advice.
Enjoy.



Patiently Waiting (3 Words)


They say that good things come to all the patient ones…
Well I have been waiting
406 days, 2 hours and 53 minutes
To finally hear 3 words
I. Love. You.
A sentence so short but holds depth so infinite
A phrase so swift but when said cannot be missed
An expression so fleeting but when heard grips you to the very fibre of your being.
I... Love… Being
With you.
And not just as a personification of togetherness.
I mean… BE-ing…
Ourselves
In each other’s midst
And although distance, both near and far, defines the space between us
In inches or millimeters, feet or kilometers…it’s all the same…
It never could divide our personalities so intertwined.
Tightly woven without us even knowing
Or realizing it was even happening.
You sense the slightest inkling of uneasiness and negativity
And intercept its manifestation with just the simplest of greetings
“Hello”
Magandang umaga, hapon at gabi…
Mahal kita
No matter the language our words, minds or bodies emit
The freedom of being myself with you is a gift
Self-love radiating from within, I naturally gravitate to you…
As Mother Nature’s omnipotent rule
We thus only attract what is a reflection of you…
And I know that I still have a lot to learn
I still have cosmos to grow into
Former outer spaces to outgrow and let go
I know... that it is not easy to love
But also... that I am nothing in its absence.
They say that good things come to all the patient ones…
Therefore I’ll still be here waiting
Ready to say those same words back to you…

I. Love. You. Too…


-jb.jimenez

reflections


I know that it's been a while.
But it wouldn't take long for me to come back.
To come back to my 1st love...writing.
Dealing with personal issues had caused me to put the pen (or keyboard) aside for the time being.
But I haven't been too far away.
I've still been keeping myself inspired by reading novels, poetry books and the like.
Went on vacation to regroup and re-focus.
Moved into a new space.
And with new spaces comes adjustments.  Good ones at that.
I welcome the quiet sounds at night.
The moments to myself.
Re-introducing myself to being alone with my thoughts.
Because as of late, distractions have been all too prevalent in my every day.

But, even though it's been a while,
My passion never left me.

So...I look forward to sharing with you again my thoughts.
My words.
My reflections.
Thank you for being patient.

j




Monday, April 22, 2013

micropoetry session

MY self

You presented me
With an augmented reality of yourself
Reprieve and relieve 
The diseased part of yourself
In order to receive the best 
Most deserv'd part of
MY self.