poetry session

You asked me to write you a love poem

Because it let you know how much I loved you

And I wrote them

Alchemistic in nature

I turned every feeling you gave me

Every instance of joy and ecstasy…

Pain and pleasure

Every moment you challenged me

Every moment of anger

Of freedom and redemption

Of sorrow and grief

Of home and healing

And transformed them into countless anthologies

And showered them over you

Demonstrated them to you

Through action

Never stagnant

Never prideful

Never judgemental

Accepted your scars

And caressed your wounds

If only you knew

The universes I created for you

Where we were so intertwined

Our unborn children lovingly

With curiosity

Listened to our soliloquies…

They

Heard bedtime stories

And amused by them

They

Cradled and fell asleep to them

You asked me

To feed you

So…

We both travelled together

Wearing nothing but vulnerability and trust

And unexpectedly supplied each other

An endless abundance of love

That it may as well have been

Us bearing witness

To a manifestation of Mother Earth herself…

I supplied you

Infinite rolling hills

Majestic mountain peaks

Vast Valleys deep

Cleansing sweet waterfalls

To quench thirsts and needs

Derived from our own definition of distance and eternity

That we could unequivocally strike the words “lonely” and “apart” from our vocabulary

Eternally I welcomed you

I let you enter into every part of my being

I consented and allowed you to supply me

Release of my past transgressions

And make new beginnings with you

Because I trusted you

I… Love… You

We baptized each other

With tantric and karmic energy

The gods themselves reveled in our unison

Catching every thrust

And reciprocating it with

Endless cultivating grounds so fertile and fruitful…

Bear your seed

So we can begin raising

The revolution

--

You asked me

To love you

I always have…

You asked me

To never leave you lonely

Alas

We are nothing but

Victims of circumstance

Every moment you needed me

I never hesitated to be by your side

The best way I knew how

You asked me

For me…

And I gave you all I had

(…And I would never trade it in

…I would do it all over again

In a heartbeat…)

.

.-j.jimenez

May 2016

Back from hiatus...

There is no greater motivation than love and pain...

micropoetry session

Amplified Black voices
Beautiful raging symphonies
In solidarity
Fighting 
For the breathless

My Open Letter To Mothers on Mother's Day

With very little sleep while working on call, manned with my laptop, camping out on the couch with a bad lower back because the boys commandeered my bed in my small 1 bedroom apartment...
I could have complained.
About my work.
About my twisted back. 
But no, I chose to think different.
I am still grateful for these moments, despite the soreness and the tiredness. 
I am grateful for the sheer simplicity of being able to glance over from my couch and see that my two teenage sons are sleeping well and comfortably
Despite the lack of space on the bed
Despite how their feet tend to now hang off the edge because they are turning into friggin giants
I would not trade the tiredness or the soreness for anything. 
I am here.. with them.
No lavish breakfast in bed. No fancy flowers or dinner. 
Because I don't ask for much from them.
Because THEY are enough. 
THEY are my reason.... and I am so grateful and honoured to be their mother.

As the daylight creeps in, Isaiah, my 14 year old, gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, sees me working away, he decides to act aloof and be his teenage self, but out of the blue he simply hands me three chocolate chip cookies (one of my favourite things in the world) from the cupboard and says, "Happy Mother's Day". :D

To new mothers and mothers-to-be
To co-mothers
To mothers who care for kids with illness
To mothers battling illness
To grieving mothers
To those who no longer have their mothers with them
To mothers who for whatever reason are unable to be with their kids
To the mothers of the 200+ missing school girls in Nigeria, whether they celebrate this day together with us or not and all mothers of missing children

These women... 
Are acquaintances, co-workers, friends, best friends, my sisters, my cousins, my aunts, 
Some are strangers
Whom I don't love or pray for any less

To most importantly, my mom....

You were both my mom and my father for most of life
With endless sacrifice, love and support
You gave and continue to give your all.... to me, my sister and my brother
As well as to my own sons
And as I am starting to see parts of your life echo and intertwine into my own life,
I only hope and pray that I equally become the woman and mother that you are to me to be able to endure my challenges ahead....

Endless love, light, prayers and blessings to ALL MOTHERS today.
I share this day with you.

micropoetry - ninewords

Loving you
Always required me
To love myself first

micropoetry - sixwordsorless

You simply
Complement me
Beautifully

micropoetry - ninewords

Trust is...
Knowing you will endure
Despite the outcome

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Reopening healed wounds
I control the salt

micropoetry - ninewords

I choose to face fear...
Learn
And release it

micropoetry session

He is the sum

Of all his parts' legacies 

While still maintaining his own 

Ongoing 

Definition of the equation 

poetry session

They say to keep it simple.
Write what you know.
Or even, just write SOMETHING, sit in front of your notebook or keyboard and don't move until you do.

Well, this is a result of having an afternoon to myself, reflecting on the above advice.
Enjoy.

Patiently Waiting (3 Words)

They say that good things come to all the patient ones…

Well I have been waiting

406 days, 2 hours and 53 minutes

To finally hear 3 words

I. Love. You.

A sentence so short but holds depth so infinite

A phrase so swift but when said cannot be missed

An expression so fleeting but when heard grips you to the very fibre of your being.

I... Love… Being

With you.

And not just as a personification of togetherness.

I mean… BE-ing…

Ourselves

In each other’s midst

And although distance, both near and far, defines the space between us

In inches or millimeters, feet or kilometers…it’s all the same…

It never could divide our personalities so intertwined.

Tightly woven without us even knowing

Or realizing it was even happening.

You sense the slightest inkling of uneasiness and negativity

And intercept its manifestation with just the simplest of greetings

“Hello”

Magandang umaga, hapon at gabi…

Mahal kita

No matter the language our words, minds or bodies emit

The freedom of being myself with you is a gift

Self-love radiating from within, I naturally gravitate to you…

As Mother Nature’s omnipotent rule

We thus only attract what is a reflection of you…

And I know that I still have a lot to learn

I still have cosmos to grow into

Former outer spaces to outgrow and let go

I know... that it is not easy to love

But also... that I am nothing in its absence.

They say that good things come to all the patient ones…

Therefore I’ll still be here waiting

Ready to say those same words back to you…

I. Love. You. Too…

-jb.jimenez

reflections

I know that it's been a while.
But it wouldn't take long for me to come back.
To come back to my 1st love...writing.
Dealing with personal issues had caused me to put the pen (or keyboard) aside for the time being.
But I haven't been too far away.
I've still been keeping myself inspired by reading novels, poetry books and the like.
Went on vacation to regroup and re-focus.
Moved into a new space.
And with new spaces comes adjustments.  Good ones at that.
I welcome the quiet sounds at night.
The moments to myself.
Re-introducing myself to being alone with my thoughts.
Because as of late, distractions have been all too prevalent in my every day.

But, even though it's been a while,
My passion never left me.

So...I look forward to sharing with you again my thoughts.
My words.
My reflections.
Thank you for being patient.

j

micropoetry session

MY self

You presented me
With an augmented reality of yourself
Reprieve and relieve 
The diseased part of yourself
In order to receive the best 
Most deserv'd part of
MY self.

poetry session

We Survive.


Does it hurt you more
Than it hurts me
To call me a bitch under your breath
While crossing the street…
Or rather, over the phone
Over a computer screen to save face
Where you stay within your
Cowardice space…
Making complaints about
What I did or did not say
What I wore the night before
Or the choices that I’ve made to avoid your callous pathways
I get it
It’s rather easy
To slander my femininity
Without having a sense of accountability
To reach for far lesser inferior meanings
From what it is and what it’s like…
What it means to be a queen

Does it hurt you more
Than it hurts me
To call me a ho just to aggress
Gearing up for war
Stabbing spears in my heart
And aiming bullets at my chest
Burning scarlet letters on my breast
These same breasts that nursed your sons
That provided nourishment in pure excess
These same breasts that you sucked, licked and caressed
That possess the suppleness and the raw
That express a rise and a fall
Whether I assess to ride dicks or walk tall
That same movement now suppressed
When required to wear a bra

Does it hurt you more
Than it hurts me
To see me and view me as
A cavity to deposit seeds
Seeping from your phallic physicality
Bearing sons to promote family name longevity
While miscarrying daughters
Wiping away, decimating matriarchal legacy
Do you realize what it's like?
To possess the powerful ability
To harness life
Two beings, one shell
Individual yet indivisible
Does it hurt you more than it hurts me?
I think not.
When you're being laid upon that table
Being told you won't feel a thing
When really the emotions inside
Mimic the instruments
That cut away and scrape in quick and succinct
Ways and motions
Vacuuming up remnants of a being that was to become your own
Fuck the arguments of stages: multi-cellular organism vs. embryo vs. human
You were my own
And for whatever reason
Were taken away from me
You were my own
And ironically,
This table...
This tidal zone of emotions,
Where other women exercise their freedom of choice
Is the same place where I come to wear the burden of mine
The burden of not having to choose you…
My own

Does it hurt you more than it hurts me?
I don’t think so.
Because we... transpose…
There is pain behind everything that is beautiful
And wherever there is pain there is strength
And whatever strength I uphold comes from a previous beautiful struggle
Yes…
We women struggle
But whatever the platform of
Degenerate interjections
It will always fall on no longer deaf ears
But open hearts and fruitful minds...
That house revolutionary cadence
To which we hold our heads high
We steady the pace
While still maintaining grace
Take care of living spaces
While STILL working a 9 to 5

Yes…
We women struggle
And better yet…
We survive.

-j.sanjuan

micropoetry - sixwords

Proximity means nothing
Yet is everything

micropoetry - ninewords

Darkness surrounds
Skin collides
With great cadence
And rapture

micropoetry - ninewords

Search for me
With the vision
Your fingers possess

micropoetry - ninewords

Dermis becomes vellum
Duplicates as Braille 
Conjugates body language

micropoetry - ninewords

Knowing full well that your absence was a possibility.

micropoetry - ninewords

Scars glisten in the sunlight with opulence and majesty.

micropoetry session

His vision extends beyond 
The reach of stars
Renaming anything in his path

micropoetry - sixwords

This is the part where we...

micropoetry - sixwords

Always reappearing at the perfect time.

micropoetry session

Whisper the yearnings

You bespeak

Onto my ears

In that voice that pains

And sustains

All at the same time

In all its familiarity

micropoetry - 2lines

Thanking Heaven for you
But vilifying the world for the absence

micropoetry - sixwords

Unify majestic spaces to create revolution.

micropoetry - sixwords

Lingering traces will amplify when severed.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Define the spaces of an undefined relation.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Patience leads to satisfaction of anticipated daydreams.

micropoetry session - sixwords

Passers-by in newly defined spaces repel.

micropoetry session - sixwords

Skimming surfaces enough to create wounds.

micropoetry session - sixwordsplusone

Encompass worlds
Traverse thoughts
Within my station

micropoetry session - ninewords

Brown skin soft
Yet underneath
Thick with tragic experience

micropoetry session

I digress with my perception of you

That beautiful handsome scent of you

Filled my nose, replenished my soul

Until it travelled into my sinuses

Then started stinging my eyes

Giving rise to blurry vision

poetry session - reflection

A Letter to my Son, on his 13th Birthday



You were born on a Wednesday evening
Under the fine balance of
Stressful circumstance and perfect timing
Your heartbeat was low
Yet your will and vitality was felt
Deep down to the marrow of my bones
To the depths of my soul
Under such pressure
Your diamond-like exuberance
Became my cornerstone
From a colic-like infancy
To never-a-dull-moment 
Toddler / Primary / Pre-Teen
Chronology
You always made life interesting (still do and always will)
And made me re-think the way I see everything
You constantly save me
And as you approach
Your very own milestone
Know
That stressful circumstance 
Will always remain
Yet is always changing
And that timing is fleeting
Yet carries unspeakable meaning
I carry every confidence
Embedded in my being
That you will find your own way
Through adolescent smoky happenings
And translate each instance into
Everyday majestic blessings
And with life's every test
And seemingly never-ending stresses
Know
I will always be
That cornerstone for you
The way that you have been for me

Know that everyday
With you
Still very much and always will be
The day God blessed me with you
On that Wednesday evening.


-j.sanjuan

micropoetry - sixwords

Displace hate. Define spaces. Move love.

poetry session

Tread with Passion

Let my eyes say all the words that my mouth cannot
And let the stride of my walk
Be a verse to Mother Nature's tune
Along Autumn laid streets
With leaves crunching at my feet
Bringing the nostalgia of your being
Back to my sensory peripheries
Like a beloved scene of a childhood memory gone past me.
I tread slowly
Yet passionately
Inhaling the cologne laced crispness that I breathe in the air 
Letting it infuse into every inch, every cell
Every molecule that is apart of me
And even though Mother Earth has communicated that the world around me
Has entered into a dormant stage,
All the more reason my passionate approach is needed to engage,
To marry the present multistaged reality into an endless 
Springtime/summer-like feeling.
I refuse to reciprocate the mundane qualities in everyday things.
But rather choose to intensate and translate
These everyday things into its everyday majesty.
Like how my icy cold hands have suddenly become warmth in his grasp...
How a heavy gray cloud laden with rain does not dare to shed a tear
Until I'm safe in his surroundings...
How each taste mandates a reaction,
A sensation that becomes food to my soul...
You know...
The kind that foodies and connoisseurs partake in
When taking in a bite, a sip,
Rolling morsels in their mouths,
Upon their tongues they let it sit,
And sup and distinguish each and every single ingredient...
Eyebrows furrow in pleasure,
Lips purse in elation...
And exclaim in exhaltation a simplistic yet majestic 
Mmmmmmm...
That means everything in the world to the one that made it...
Repeated over and over and over again until the meal is finished
In this 259,200 seconds of a weekend...
Let this be my approach...
Let me be the first to tell you
That I tread with passion
And with each moment that passes
I promise
I will not take it for granted.

j.sanjuan

poetry session

Be.

Revel in my space

Settle into my pace as

I become somewhat elated

While embracing the journey of

Retracing how my footsteps

Have taken me to this place

Of appreciation

Of displacing the interspacings

Of our beings with

BE-ing face to face

Putting aside doubt for faith

Praising aloud God for your grace

Set ablaze inspiration

Create conversations to instigate

Unforgettable touch sensations

Authenticate relations

To medicate our senses

Releasing them from placated imaginations…

Amalgamate psychologies

Associate physiologies

Vacate former spaces of mentality

Formed by uncertainty and scorned sensibilities

From preceding lovers and outworn intimate affinities

Enter into my vicinity

And KNOW what home feels like

What warmth, sanctuary and love can BE like

Identify the space in which we both occupy

Is a reflection of each other: continual and sublime

Rather than individual and finite

Once revealed to you in hindsight

Unite minds with me

Light up skies with me for all to see

How we redefine the world in which we

Inspire to seek

Together

Who we

Choose to

BE.

-j.sanjuan

micropoetry - ninewords

The traction of my thoughts gains quickness in action.

micropoetry session

Dividing sides
With his fingertips 
Down my spine
Creating the most 
Divine meridian

micropoetry session

Warmth begets warmth
As fingertips meets hands
Affiliates arms
Associates chests
Consolidates beats
And reconnects beings

micropoetry session

Entering in
He presses unpause
Replaying the torturous
Lovesick cycles

micropoetry session

The night escapes me 
Teasing its fleeting comfort 
Without grasping onto
Its inspiration

micropoetry session

Uplift and subsist
To exist 
In my inner most
Intimate consciousness.

micropoetry session

Conversationalist tactics
Prove positive
And poetically persist
In my 
Sensualist movement.

micropoetry session

Fading into the grayscale
Until he returns 
With a vibrant 
Mnemonic need
For clemency

micropoetry session

Woo me with ways 
To make could-be's to should-be's
Wants to needs
Casual interludes to prolonged
Late night early mornings.

micropoetry - sixwords

Grazing signatures on backs with fingertips.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Tears baptize and catalyze the healing process.

micropoetry - sixwords

We see ourselves in each other.

micropoetry - ninewords

Fingers possess dexterous dexterity in hopes to encompass me.

micropoetry session

Paint me the color
Of your most vivid dreams
Supply hues to imbue
A subconscious affair
Of being.

micropoetry session

Illicit explicit simplicity
In attempts to break down
My indeterministicy

micropoetry - sixwords

Dangerously sheltered in sacramental beatific bliss. 

micropoetry - sixwords

Silence surrounds - In comfort I lay

poetry session

When He Speaks

I.

Am.

Humbled.

When he speaks

I am moved

When he seeks the appropriate speech

To bequeath his vocabulary

Onto my soul

And spiritual physique

He…

Does.

Not.

Mumble.

Every word

Every syllable

Every verb

Every soliloqual

Lingual adjective

Native tongue

Melliloquent

And

Superlative rhetoric

He

Is the sum

Of all my poetics

It’s almost as if

He

Spoke

In

Tongues

And I am there to receive

The Holy Spirit

When

He

Speaks

I am forced

To challenge

All my beliefs

I no longer

Beseech

The need

For clarity

He excretes

Lyrical techniques

To the degree

That I am

Brought to

My knees

Begging

For this conversational piece

To never cease

He…

Articulates peace

More like truth

A decree of his existence

The triumph of his being

The struggle in his youth

He

Speaks…

To represent…

Not

To reprove

He

Speaks

Profusely

Never uncouth

Or Abstrusely

And I

Welcome it conducely

He…

Infuses and introduces

Altruism while loosely

Seducing my mind

He

Is

Proof

That chivalry is adduce

And elocution is alive

Revolution is certain

And that momentarily

He was mine

And

I only

Strive

To be as fervent and refined

I requisition

To be immersed and baptized

In his energy

And hindsight

When

He

Speaks…

I

Realize

That something in me

Has changed

And I will never

Be the same

Suffice to say

I

Pray

Next time...

That I

Gather all I am

My air

My breath

The motion of

My diaphragm

The alignment of my spine

Allow my voice

To resonate

Let my aura assimilate

Into his inspirational

State of mind

So that

When

He

Speaks…

I am granted

The courage

Just to say

Hi

-j.sanjuan

micropoetry - sixwords

Breathless. Ceaseless. Sleepless. Restless. Speechless. Weakness.

micropoetry session

Extinguish the undistinguished
Parts of your mind
Be inclined
To this linguist
Relinquish the refined
To coincide with mine.

micropoetry - ninewords

Fingers caress crevices in hopes for undressed coalesced cognizance.

microopoetry - 2lines

He strums my pages as if they were shards
From a broken heart.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Create conversations to instigate unforgettable touch sensations.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Euphoric mornings derived from late longful moanings. 

micropoetry - 2lines

Reflect and take necessary steps back
To move towards my advancement.

micropoetry - sixwords

Translate the language of my touch.

micropoetry - sixwords

Love remains steady and unbroken - Focus.

micropoetry - sixwordsorless

Compelled to circumvent vexing complexity.

micropoetry - sixwords

Your vision appears inside heavy lids. 

By Invitation Only

When you get caught up in one thing, other things seem to get left by the wayside.
AND, it's been brought to my attention, (not once, but many times), that I completely forgot to post my final product for my best friend's wedding invites!  
For those who are new or weren't even aware - yes, I am a card crafter, as well as a poet. :)
Two of my most beloved creative outlets.
Last year, my best friend asked me if I could hand make all her wedding invites. You can read more of that here. After graciously accepting the offer, AND much revisions (four to be exact), I present to you some snapshots of this challenging yet, most gratifying, labor of love I've ever done. All 150 of them... :)

I have to admit, I didn't want to let these invites go after all the hard work and care I put into making them. Afterall, they were like my babies! LOL

But as much as I'd like to take credit, I actually need to thank the 'sweat shop' for helping me assemble these.  Thank you for not driving me into insanity. Also, thank you for presenting me with new headaches along the way...(too much glue!!!!) LOL...

So with that said, conjuring up those laborious memories made me want to post this last card I made.  This was for a my son's best friend's birthday not too long ago.

This is just for fun, plus it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)

Until next occasion..... :)


j

micropoetry session

Savor my words.
Sip on its derivative.
Let syllables roll off your tongue
And swallow it amongst expletives.
This is how my passion tastes.

poetry session

*Never give up. My words of simplictic advice to loved ones going through trying times. Stay true. This difficult moment may not BE you, but it helps you to BECOME you.*
(P.S. Happy Week 50 Open Link Night!!)

Try

My heart cries
When I see
The potential in you
Not being seen
Or fully realized.
Stop lying
And try to be
The authentic you.
Try
To be the person
I know you can
Strive to be
Defy the things
They decry you to be
And when you fall
I'll supply you
The support that you need.
I realize
This might
Not mean much
Or become reality
In this brief
Moment of futility
But trust
That when that moment comes
When you've overcome
Adversity
Living with passion and intensity
You can undeniably reply
That it didn't kill you
To try
But inexplicably
You survived
And would
Rather
Die trying
To find its meaning

-j.sanjuan

micropoetry - ninewords

Mutual needs secrete sexual techniques amid beats between sheets.

micropoetry - sixwords

Derive fiery passion in my eyes.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

Sweet milk drips from melanin covered vellum.

micropoetry - sixwordsplusone

He is seldom felt but always welcome.

micropoetry session

When the time comes
I'll be sure to admit it
That time is now
If you permit it
I admit it - 
I was wrong.

micropoetry session

I always succumb
When he speaks to me
In hypnotic
Melodic
Poetic tongues

micropoetry - ninewords

Aiming to satiate the need to separate weighted knees.

micropoetry session

I'm attracted 

To the abstract manner 

In how your acts 

Translate into

Impactful contact

 

micropoetry - ninewords

Be relentless with your attention to whet sexual licentiousness.

micropoetry - 2lines

My impassioned body

In the throes of satisfaction

poetry session

The Subscript


Please…
Although it's pleasing
I insist
That you desist
With your viable ways
Of persisting
And portraying your
Licentious behavior
In phrases
Just to amaze me
Realistically,
I see how
That can be easy

Appease me this way…
Can you stay and
Assist me to
Lead me to your
Sophisticated being?
Breathe...
Subsist to coexist
With me
Submit to
Your higher level of consciousness
With which you
Can never resist me

‘Cause mental and
Spiritual connectedness
Can never restrict me
These aspects
Seem like it’s only subscript
When it’s
Character, plot, climax and never-ending

Represent me
By presenting me with
Your most Kingly being
Treat me with deserve'd respect
And I'll be on the other end
To receive thee
Reciprocate
Unconditionally to
Recreate
Reformulate
The subscript.

 
-j.sanjuan

poetry session

Invitation


Create in me
A space
That can set your
Heart, mind and soul free.
Believe in the idea
Of how, intellectually speaking,
Mental and physical unity
Can spark
Inspirational
Motivational
Word artistry
A platform, if you will…
Seek your silence
And be still.
Enter in
To entertain
My invitational
Transformational vicinity
And see
How we can
Easily transform
The world around us
Turning negativity into positivity
Regression into progression
Listlessness into BE-ing.
Cognitively,
I can positively
Attest to
The digression
Of expressions
That my mind and body possess
For you.
Spiritually,
I do not contest
The gift that God has
Invested in me;
Manifesting emotions
Into this life force called poetry
Therefore,
I see the need
For you
To reconvene with me
You
Challenge my being
To
Renew and rebuild
The sublime and soliloquy
Reject the cynical and the weary
Redefine words and
Redesign worlds
Ubiquitously.
You
Continuously inspire me.
Ingeniously
Create desire in me
To instigate fires
That can
Never be extinguished
You
Replenish my soul
And supply me provision
Your energy and disposition
Is worthy and sufficient
Every word you speak
I graciously listen
Wish
And hope
My intuition meets fruition

So please
Distinguish my vision
With this petition

And accept this
Humble and genuine
Motive towards
Self revelation
Physical aspiration and
Mental exploration.

Send affirmation
My way
Say
'Yes' to...

...My invitation




-j.sanjuan